Dear Courtney,
Ok here goes my dear...my boyfriend of eight months always recieves phone calls from either his ex girlfriends, co-worker girls, or girls I have never heard of. He doesnt put their names in his cell phone caller ID, but I am starting to recognize them. He never answers them when I am around, and rarely retrieves the voicemails they leave when I am around. I recently went on a trip for several days. I told him my flight was coming in a day later than it was, in hopes it would be a nice surprise for him. I called him when I got into town and played it off as though I was still gone. I found out what he was up to and immediately got into my car to show up at his place, which is where he was. I knocked on his door and he answered it, to his surprise it was me. He seemed to be in shock, kept asking if it was for real was I really there. But not once did he try to hug me or kiss me (he is normally extremely affectionate). He then proceeded to say hey lets quick go to your house, I need to get something. Now this was immediately after I got into his apt., no hug yet no kiss. I asked him what was up and he said he just wanted to go to my house. Then he pulled me into his bedroom...suddenly a knock at the door. I asked who that was and he told me to be quiet. I asked again and he said it was his co-worker and friend Jenny. I asked what she was doing here and he said they were just going to hang out. I then started to cry and told him how bad this looked. He held me in his arms and tried to reasure me that nothing was happening with him and Jenny. He was just going to hang out with her and when I showed up he just wanted to hang out with me and ditch her. She called his phone and left a message for him. He played it for me and she just said she was there and he should call her back. He called her back and told her his girlfriend showed up to surprise him and he was just going to hang out with me. She then said "Well I was listening out the door and it didn't sound like you were getting along at all!" He told her it was none of her business and let her go. I need to know if this sounds fishy to you or if I am just being super paranoid? I just wish I would have showed up ten minutes later, perhaps that would have lead me to the answer. I also need to know what there is to do if this perhaps is fishy. Do I try to be sneaky and find some more stuff out...if you could just give me your whole hearted honest opinion, it would help tremedously! Thank you so very much.
E. 21, WI
Dear E,
Busted! That's "reality tv" worthy! He's a jerk, dear. Don't lower yourself to anything sneaky... you have all the evidence you need. My recommendation: a glass of Chablis, a hot bath filled with overpriced bubbles, a night of sobbing into your pillow, THEN a night on the town with your girlfriends! He's not worth your time... and CERTAINLY not worth more than a single night's tears! The word 'cad' fits this situation nicely! Just remember, someday, you'll look back on this time and say: 'thank goodness I found out when I did!', like before you invested one more precious day of your life to this faithless liar! Consider this a turning point... and it will all get better from here!
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
Dear Courtney,
There is this boy in school, and I was just wondering if he likes me. He seems to pick on me alot, and always finds a way to talak to me in the halls even if its just a weird look. I have herd that he made people pick me to be on his team for kick ball, and that he might a mentioned me a few times to the guys in the class. Alot of poeple tell me that he likes me, and i'm begining to believe it, but how can I before sure? not sure?
N. 16, WI
Dear N,
If you're talking about kickball in school, you're in puppy love :) It's hard to be direct at your age, so use the casual, sneaky approach and get YOUR friends to ask HIS friends! Someday, when you're older, it will be much easier to simply go up to him and ask him out... well, in your case, to kick a ball! Of course, there is always the 'note' method... slip a note in his locker, but then there's always the danger of someone else finding it... copying it and distributing it to the entire school. Love is risky :)
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
Dear Courtney,
There is this boy that when he is around me he is just the sweetest guy and then when his friends are around he is just a jerk to me. This has made my friends to believe that he is just using me adn that he really doesnt want me. The thing is I like this guy a lot and i really want something to happen but i wanna know if it is possible that anything will happen with out the fact that he may be using me?? Help i am confused!!!
S. 15, WI
Dear S,
Ugh.. I hate those kind of guys! He's got to grow up. He's projecting an image around his friends... bowing to peer pressure. Ugh..! Either set him straight or walk. No one deserves to be treated like that. I don't care how wonderful he is to you... in private. Hypocrisy and cowardice make for a disastrous relationship... and sometimes, extensive therapy!
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
Dear Courtney,
I dated this girl for four years and we recently broke up because I didn't know what I wanted so I met this other girl and we seemed to click put I don't wanna make the wrong decision! I do things with my ex- almost like we never broke up and the other girl I just met we do things alot to but I put myself in a strange position and I don't know how to approach this situation at all! I still love my ex and I can also see myself with the new girl. I truly don't wanna hurt anyone but I no I will someway. I want to make the right choice and my heart is telling me different things. please help if that's possible!!!
C. 26, CA
Dear C,
My advice is simple: follow your heart.
You can't have them both... well, at least not ethically! If you don't choose from your heart, you'll regret it for months, years.... and most likely, your relationship won't last. If you DO follow your heart, you might be in for rough times, but you'll look at her and know that you made the right decision, because you can't imagine going thru life with anyone else.
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
Dear Courtney,
My boyfriend just broke up with me after 2 years.he said cuz he didn't think everything was going well. so then i was talkin to my friend about it and she said that my boyfriend(x) asked her out while me and him were going out.i'm very confused can you help me
C. 14, WI
Dear C,
He told you that things weren't going well.. because he was scoping out other girls! Why would you even waste a minute missing him? Moreover, why didn't your friend tell you sooner?? He's not trustworthy, he hurt your feelings, he broke up with you... move on. Take comfort in knowing that what goes around comes around... and his time will come. Take comfort in knowing that you deserve ... and will find... someone much better... at the very least, faithful! Not all matches are made in heaven! Be glad that this happened before things got any more serious!
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
HI COURTNEY
I'VE BEEN IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS. THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, HE HAS HAD A HARD TIME EXPRESSING HIMSELF EMOTIONALLY OR JUST CONVERSING WITH ME. I'VE TRIED PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING BUT AM RUNNING OUT. WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF SPLITTING UP FOR GOOD BUT NEITHER OF US REALLY WANT TO BECAUSE WE DO LOVE EACH OTHER. ANY SUGGESTIONS?
T. 25, WI
Dear T,
MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS YELLING! :) Ok, ok... we all know the challenges men face. Communication, relating, expression.... on and on. If you're on the verge of breaking up, then you don't have a lot to lose... direct confrontation time. Nothing subtle, nothing polite, nothing gentle.. lay it out. If the love is there... the attempt to express it will come, too. Sometimes, panic induces communication! You've tried patience... try 'impatience'.
Your e-love advisor,
Courtney!
